Now I know what many of you are thinking- what a disrespectful child. How dare I not give respect to others? What kind of monster am I? Calm down Karen, I’m getting there. My vision is not a world where everyone treats each other like garbage- that’s not what I want. I believe everyone deserves basic respect. You acknowledge their personhood and respect the fact that they have the right to their own opinions. Basically, treat others like humans and not pieces of shit you think you’re better than. (That’s messed up.)
Let’s look at the definition of respect:
“Due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.”
Lexico.com
This type of respect recognizes that people might have different opinions, traditions, etc. than we do. It goes ‘okay you have different traditions and views than me but that’s cool’ versus ‘okay you have different traditions and views than me so you’re wrong’. My perspective on this issue is that we must remind ourselves that everyone is different and is entitled to their own beliefs. However, if their beliefs are harmful to others, it is our duty to speak up against them (while still respecting their ability to believe them).
What many people assume is respect comes from the phrase ‘respect your elders’. I can almost hear the ringing of my family’s voices reminding me to respect my older relatives. My cousins, only a few years older than me, also demanded this respect. If we are already giving a basic level of respect to everyone, what ‘special’ type of respect are we meant to give them? And what makes them deserving of this respect? Their age? The notion is ridiculous that we are required to respect them based on the fact that they’re older than us! Parents telling you to respect your elders always felt like an order. I was being told to cater to them. I had to listen to their stories even if they were sexist or rude, treating them with a certain level of respect (or any really) that I myself was not receiving. I personally believe that if someone refuses to show you respect, and possibly disrespects you, you are not forced to show them anything more than basic human decency. Respect them as a human but not a person.
You can’t expect someone to respect you for just existing. However, some people don’t see something as respect unless you are viewing them as an authority figure. Kottke.org actually came out with an important quote:
“Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority” and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person””
Jason Kottke
It’s a power trip to many, they only feel respected when they feel they have authority over you. This is shown a lot of the times when people treat their servers badly. Have you ever been out to a restaurant and your date/family member decides to yell at the wait staff for being ‘too slow’ or ‘bringing bad food on purpose’? It’s a literal nightmare. Sometimes I want to scream, haven’t you seen how packed the restaurant is? They’re overbooked and I can only see one cook! People talk down to these people and feel justified in doing so because they feel the power trip that comes from the waitstaff being at their beck and call. This feeling is something they equate with respect. If you are not submissive to them, you don’t respect them. This is an incredibly dangerous thought.
I truly believe that basic respect must always be given but anything more must be earned. If you want my respect, you must give it to me in an equal amount.
Politics in a Nutshell 